Autographs
by Umbrie
Summary: When a group of Organization Members get sent on a Mission to America, the outcome can only be disastrous.


Xemnas was one grouchy leader.

That was the thought that floated through everyone's heads as they sat at a long, rectangular table. At the far end was their superior, Xemnas, eyeing each one of the four members carefully. Behind him stood his second in command, Saix. On the other side sat Axel, Xigbar, Roxas, and an overly-nervous Demyx. Each time Demyx caught the leader's orange glare, he shivered and shuddered violently; he always hated facing him. The blond gulped heavily and straightened his black coat apprehensively.

"I'd like to bestow onto the four of you a mission," said the superior slowly, precisely. His hands gestured in tune with his words. "This is a very important mission that will require your utmost attention and skill. I've chosen the four of you based on your abilities and statuses, and therefore you all should be honored about this assignment."

Xemnas paused to look each Nobody in the eye so they could fully comprehend his words. Once each one nodded, he continued. "I need you four to investigate unexplored territory. It's a world called 'America.' Apparently, its habitants are no different from most other worlds, but caution should be heeded. I wish you all the best of luck." With that, he turned to Saix, and the two stepped into a portal of swirling dark vibes, leaving the four behind.

"Well, that was nerve-wracking, aye Demyx?" Axel sneered giving said blond a side-glance. Demyx hardly noticed the comment. He was too busy shaking in his seat.

"So, I guess we should get ready, huh?" Roxas pointed out idly, fingering the zipper on his Organization jacket.

Xigbar grinned widely. "Dude, if we see any hot chicks they are so mine."

"Please. Everyone knows I'm way hotter than you are," Axel said while flipping his long red hair attractively.

Xigbar raised his visible eyebrow, "Well, in the literal sense, anyways."

Roxas hit both their heads irritably. "Would you guys shut up. Our departure will be in twenty minutes, so get ready." Roxas shoved his hands in his pockets and walked out of the large room.

Axel mumbled something about how no one uses the word 'departure', but left the room to prepare anyways. Xigbar picked Demyx up and threw him over his shoulder and teleported him to his room before going to his own.

* * *

"So everyone's here, right?" Roxas asked to no one in particular as he looked over his group mates. They all mumbled some form of 'yes' and Roxas smiled approvingly. "Alright, let's go."

Xigbar created a large hole in the pristine white wall, from which black and purple streams followed from. He grinned and gestured for the group to step in. After they were all sent down to their destination, Xigbar went through and closed the entrance and he was immediately brought to a bright scene with people bustling all around.

"Yo, Xigbar... where are we exactly?" Axel questioned, confused creases forming on his forehead.

The Sharpshooter fumbled with a folded piece of paper. "The Superior gave me this here map. Hm..." He paused to examine the confusing map covered with twisting lines and marked buildings. "It's says that we're in Arlington, Virginia. In front of a Hyatt Hotel," Xigbar stated, scratching the back of his head thoughtfully.

Just then a girl with cat ears attached to plastic-looking, bubble-gum pink hair and five-too-many-belts tugged on Demyx's coat jacket. The Melodious Nocturne turned cluelessly to look at her.

"You have a really cool cosplay! Did you buy it or make it?" she asked, big brown eyes shining inquiringly.

"U-Um... what?" he stuttered, looking around as if the question was directed to someone else.

She giggled. "You know, you're cosplay, silly. You're wig is styled really well and that jacket is so accurate!"

"Demyx, come on! We're supposed to be investigating," Roxas called. Demyx immediately scurried over to his group to escape the weird girl. No different from other worlds? Far from it.

Just then a group of grinning people dressed in odd clothing ran over to them, their hands clutching odd objects. "Can we get your guys' picture?" one of them asked. Her lips were smeared with blue lipstick that matched her hair and eyes. Another one with blonde hair and green eyes nodded vigorously.

"What? No. Leave us alone," Roxas said dismissively, pushing past the group. He was followed shortly by his fellow members. He and the rest of them stepped through the doors of the building curiously and was immediately greeted by a large sign reading 'Welcome to Katsucon 19!'

"What in the name of Kingdom Hearts is a 'Katsucon'...?" the dirty blond asked himself, his eyes narrowing skeptically. "Hey, where'd Xigbar go?"

Axel and Demyx shrugged. Roxas just rolled his eyes exasperatingly.

"Hey, is that a girl in a leaf bikini?!" Demyx exclaimed, covering his gaping mouth, face turning red.

"Well, we know where Xigbar probably went..." Axel snickered.

Roxas crossed his arms. "Come on, guys. Let's see what this place is exactly."

He led the group of three over to a small cafe-looking place where they sat down to, as Roxas explained, 'discuss their route plan.'

"So, according to this, there are three accessible levels in this building. Since there's three of us, we should probably each explore a level," Roxas began pointing to the sheet of paper. "Demyx, you take this floor and I'll take the middle. That means the bottom level is left to you, Axel."

Demyx nodded once in comprehension and Axel waved to show he understood. Roxas smiled. "Alright then!"

As they were about to get up from the metal table in which they were seated at, though, Axel was stopped by a guy who looked suspiciously like Axel himself.

"Hey there. I just wanted to, uh, give you some tips on your wig," the guy said, pointing to the redhead's flurry of flaming red hair.

Axel tensed. "Is that so? And what would you like to say about it?"

"Well, first off, you should probably get the base wig from a different seller. The color is totally off," he explained.

"Really? I never would have guessed. So what color should it be?" he said through clenched teeth.

"It should be more of a cherry color like this," evaluated the man, stroking the side of his wig affectionately.

"Heh, really? Are you sure it shouldn't be more like the color of BLOOD?!" Axel yelled (quite lamely), his chakrams bursting into his hands in spinning flames. The man fell to the floor, his eyes wide and frightened, but at the same there was an unbelieving smile tugging at his wide-open mouth. Axel threw both weapons, one after the other. Just before they could hit the 'other Axel', they were stopped by two opposite-looking keyblades.

Roxas sighed and lifted his head. "Now, now Axel, let's not make a scene," he grumbled with a twitching eyebrow.

The redhead scoffed. "No one insults my hair," he spat, a hand running through said hair.

At that moment, a roar of applause and screams erupted from the group of people that had gathered around them. Demyx looked around, twisting in his seat. He turned back to them with his eyebrows knitted together and shrugged. Most of the people in the group were holding the strange objects from before, a red light flashing on the screens of them.

Roxas looked around incredulously. He could have sworn he saw other Organization XIII members in the crowd. What exactly was this place?

A mob of people managed to get over to them, and the trio were soon swarmed with questions. Roxas felt people petting his head and patting him to get his attention. Axel took a seat and grinned, happy to answer the overflowing questions that surrounded him.

"How did you get your chakrams to appear into you hands like that?

"Are they retractable so you could put them up your sleeves?"

"Was that real fire?"

"How'd you get your make-up to look so good?"

"Is that your real hair?"

"Did you have to starve yourself to get your body like that?"

"You're voice sounds just right! Is it like that naturally?"

"How long did it take you to get that battle skit right?"

"Can I have your autograph?"

"You're pretty!" This wasn't exactly a question, but Axel accepted it anyways.

"Come now. I'll be happy to answer everyone's questions," Axel smiled.

Roxas groaned and pushed past the people blocking his way. He grabbed Axel's coat hood and pulled him from the chair. He did the same with Demyx who was also being questioned. The boy was nervous enough without all those people around him. They finally managed to escape to a local restaurant-like place called 'McDonalds.'

The group plopped into booth on the top floor and released a breath simultaneously.

"That was hell," Roxas groaned, combing through his hair with shaking fingers. Demyx agreed quietly but Axel gave him a confused look.

"No way, that was awesome. I should get that kind of attention all the time. I mean, come on. Look at me!" he exclaimed with a thrust of his hips.

"A sore sight to see."

Axel glared, but to, he didn't know. "Who said that?"

A burst of laughter came from behind him. "Who do ya think, genius?"

The redhead turned to find Xigbar with a tall blonde-haired girl in high striped socks and a bright outfit, his arm wrapped around her lanky shoulders. "Xigbar! What's up man? Already picked up a chick?"

"Dude, she's crazy, man. All over me." He grinned at her and she squealed like a little girl. "What have you guys been up to?"

"We're actually leaving. We've gotten enough information for one visit," Roxas mumbled wearily. Axel turned around and gave him puppy eyes. Obviously, he didn't want to go just yet. "Sorry, but I'm already sick of this place, and there's no way I'm going back over to that... horrible, terrifying building. Besides, I think I know enough about this world to write a report to Xemnas."

Axel groaned and hung his head. "Come on, Rox, I can't let Xigbar get a girl without me being able to pick someone up! That's against my code."

"No one cares, Axel. Now that we have Xigbar, we can go."

Axel looked at him sadness written on his face. "You've hurt me, man. You've hurt my non-existent heart."

Roxas raised his eyebrows. The two continued to argue as Xigbar turned to the blonde. "Sorry, babe, but I have to go, now."

"Marry me?" She stared at him with the most hopeful of eyes. He just laughed and got up from his seat. He created an opening in the wall, which attracted the attention of many people around them.

"Come on guys," he called. The three looked up from what they were doing and got up.

A spilt second later, they were gone.

* * *

Mission Report 47

Location: America

_Confusing format of land. People have tendency to attack without a moments notice. Suspicion of cloning in process is evident._

Number XIII, Roxas.

* * *

Mission Report 48

Location: America

_Hot chicks, dude. Report back later. Note: Said hot chicks are good at making out._

Number II, Xigbar

* * *

Mission Report 49

_Really big and scary. Lots of people. Food is really, really greasy... but yummy._

Number IX, Demyx

* * *

Mission Report 50

_Lame besides the fact that the people are interested in me. People are also insulting._

Number XIII, Axel.

**-X-O-X-**

Yay! Crack-fic. This was written because I was bored and had nothing to do!


End file.
